Friday, July 27, 2007

people often say: chivalry is dead. i want to say that its not.

you know how often girls/women say chivalry is dead, there are no gentlemen in singapore, no guys know how to treat girls properly anymore? well i say thats ridiculous. there is a huge flaw in their argument. the flaw is that girls/women themselves do not know how to be recieve acts of chivalry.

well, this of course is a very coarse generalization and i mean no offence to girls at all. this is just like an argument to whoever says that chivalry is dead, and perhaps a different point of view for everyone.

quite often, i'd be on the train, sitting happily on my long journey to town. the train is not packed, but like virtually all the seats are taken. so im just happy, looking out the window, thinking of a new way of greeting my friend when i see him/her/them or thinking about whatever la.

then the next stop comes and a women, not elderly, not very young, and not necessarily very pretty, comes through the door. she looks around, and there are no seats. so she decides to just hold on to the pole. she is not injured pregnant or old, but i decide to offer my seat to her. i stand up, ask her to go ahead and take the seat, but she is like shy or something and doesnt want to. so the both of us are left standing there like idiots. obviously i wont go back and sit down.

so there. act of chivalry, but what was lacking was the gracious acceptance of the act.

secondly, and more irritating and pissingly, is when girls like demand chivalry. that is totally out of line. fortunately not many girl/women are like that.

girls of central 3. please dont ever demand chivalry from guys. thats not ladylike at all. and when someon opens the door for you, just get your bumboclaude through the door and say thank you. when he offers to carry stuff for you, just let him carry the thing. he wont think that you're lazy, he wont feel tired (even if he does, he wont say it and if he actually is tired, what makes you think you wont be.) so just let him get sweaty and you just perhaps can offer to carry it so that he can say "no its ok its ok". when he offers to walk you home, dont worry, it doesnt mean that he likes you. and take the seat when he offers you. dont ask for it, unless you really damn tired.

girls must think this way: i dont deserve it, but i can recieve it ( just like salvation by the way)

guys of central 3. please be gentlemanly. go find out the things you can do. these are the ways of the knights and they are good practises. get the door, offer to help, but DONT insist and be forceful about. and if so happen, a girl gets the door for you, it doesnt make you less of a man to walk through it and say thank you. especially in the case of an elevator! just get out first. it doesnt matter seriously. offer your seat to any female whether or not they "need" it. the thing is, you have to offer. if she insists on standing/carrying her stuff/not wanting you to walk her home, its ok. just let her be. thats being gentlemanly too. but try to offer in a way that she cant say no. haha. be it in your actions or mannerisms. (again, go find out how you can do this.)

oh yeah. one important thing is that dont worry about how your other guy friends look at you when you treat the ladies well. be confident when you do it but not like arrogant. and let them joke about you. its ok. they will eventually learn from you. ive seen it happen for me haha.
and yes! you can and should be gentlemanly towards guys too. this doesnt make you gay. duh. just be brave and do it. you'll get used to it.

guys must think this way: all girls deserve our good treatment from guys. be they ladylike or not, pretty or not, your girlfriend/crush or not.

at the end of this, i just hope that we will all become more gracious and have a deeper understanding of this simple yet complicated part of being a civilised society.

its a pity parents and school teachers dont teach about this much.

see ya'll around!
ming